My Cancer ~ What Worked For Me ~ Balance Spirit & Self For Healing ~ Loss Of Work & Living With Disabilities ~ Managing Pain
One thing that was very difficult for me to face was the loss of my job. I was a workaholic all my life I enjoyed working. To suddenly face the fact that I am disabled at the age of 45 was a lot to handle. I was losing myself to the wind.
I was told treatments might last a year or more in order to fight the lung cancer and get it into remission. At that point, it would still be incurable. I would still have bones eaten away in my spine and may live on pain medications indefinitely. The Drs told me, “You might get to live an additional year or two with treatment, so make the best of it – Retire.” Well, our plan was to live for ten years or more with Spirit’s help.
Let’s look at this one step at a time. I realized that I was no longer going to be this person that went to work each day. Putting fourteen years into this program made me very proud of what I had accomplished. I was dedicated to my work. In order to give that up required me to undergo a period of mental housekeeping. Many of us in Western society think of ourselves as being what we do in life. (I’m an engineer, or I’m a manager)
Our jobs are attached to our personal identity and self-worth. I was really attached to my job and to my physical ability to do what I wanted. It was as if a part of me died when they told me I was permanently disabled and I had to retire. That was a huge undertaking for me; I was actually mourning the loss of my job and my physical health.
The patterns of a lifetime need to be respected; they were once our main driving force. We have to greave the loss of our employment, just like the loss of a loved one. Most of us use creativity in the workplace, and when you create, you are bringing something to life. So to lose what you created requires some feeling of loss.
Change
As I slowly came to the realization of my need to release the vitality of the past and job, then Spirit gave me something else to do. This was a symbolic fork in the path of my well-being. We all need something to work on. Otherwise, our minds are going to play tricks on us. Like grasping onto something unnecessary to satisfy our human side, or possibly our mind will create a transference of our identity to some project until the human side is sated.
Eventually, we realize the most important job of our lives is to heal ourselves and return to wholeness. With this comes acceptance of where we are at this moment, and then we can positively move forward.
Check out My Cancer page for tips on letting go.
My Cancer ~ What Worked For Me ~ Balance Spirit & Self For Healing ~ Loss Of Work & Living With Disabilities ~ Managing Pain